APHORISM: “On Ash Wednesday and Ass Rape” / Madison S. Hughes ☮

By Madison S. Hughes (02.22.2012)

Today the world’s oldest international organized crime syndicate, currently leading the world in its child-raping ring, the Roman Catholic Church, celebrates Ash Wednesday.

Today the willfully ignorant literalists, and child rapists, symbolically show their repentance before their imaginary celestial dictator. The willfully ignorant literalists will obediently follow each other to their tax-exempt child rape houses of worship. There the socially accepted, admired, and tolerated child raping Priests will place ceremonial ashes in the shape of a torture symbol, known as a crucifix, on their non-thinking, credulous followers heads.

As the carnival season ceases, and this first day of Lent launches, another countdown commences to Zombie Jebus day some fortyish days henceforth. In the meantime, while those of the limited and literal mind show-off their piousness to the many, and willful ignorance to few, let those few with the advanced ironic and inquiring minds, engage in some very basic mathematics:

Given:

– Number of Days in Lent = 40 (rounded for easy numbers)
– Number of Priests on Earth = 500,000 (rounded for easy numbers)

Assumption:

– The leading child-rape ring, the Roman Catholic Church, and its Priests have never been brought to justice for the atrocities of their past child-raping behavior; therefore, the child-raping behavior of Catholic Priest will remain constant for the next forty days.

Find:

1. How many innocent children will be raped by Catholic Priests between Lent and Zombie Jebus Day?

2. Of those innocent children that will be raped by Catholic Priests, what percentage of their willfully ignorant literalist parents will continue to defend the world’s oldest international organized crime syndicate, and their child-raping Priest?

3. Why are those of us with the audacity to trumpet this considered the assholes, while those that are actually violating children’s assholes considered righteous?

4. Why do you keep calling me Pollyanna?

WHITE-WING CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN THEOCRACY: “Trump’s Theocratic Cabinet” / Freedom From Religion Foundation☮

trumps-theocratic-cabinetEvangelicals who pushed Donald Trump over the top in the election are surely pleased with several of his appointments to the cabinet and other high-ranking positions in his administration.

Trump promised to be “the greatest representative of the Christians,” and he seems to be heading in that direction. Before even being elected, he chose Mike Pence as a running mate, a man who denies evolution and has voted to restrict LGBT rights based on “religious freedom.” Trump has also appointed several other religious fundamentalists who pose a threat to church/state separation.

Here’s a look at a number of them… http://bit.ly/2iPk19W

THE GREAT AGNOSTIC: “What I want for Christmas” / Freedom From Religion Foundation / Robert Green Ingersoll ☮

Robert Green IngersollWHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
By Robert Green Ingersoll
The Arena, Boston, December 1897

If I had the power to produce exactly what I want for next Christmas, I would have all the kings and emperors resign and allow the people to govern themselves.

I would have all the nobility crop their titles and give their lands back to the people. I would have the Pope throw away his tiara, take off his sacred vestments, and admit that he is not acting for God — is not infallible — but is just an ordinary Italian. I would have all the cardinals, archbishops, bishops, priests and clergymen admit that they know nothing about theology, nothing about hell or heaven, nothing about the destiny of the human race, nothing about devils or ghosts, gods or angels. I would have them tell all their “flocks” to think for themselves, to be manly men and womanly women, and to do all in their power to increase the sum of human happiness.

Continue reading . . .