Maybe atheists *should* wage a War on Christmas… After all, is it ever okay to tell your kids that a fictional being is watching over them to see if they’ve been naughty or nice?
By Madison S. Hughes (02.22.2012)
Today the world’s oldest international organized crime syndicate, currently leading the world in its child-raping ring, the Roman Catholic Church, celebrates Ash Wednesday.
Today the willfully ignorant literalists, and child rapists, symbolically show their repentance before their imaginary celestial dictator. The willfully ignorant literalists will obediently follow each other to their tax-exempt child rape houses of worship. There, the socially accepted, admired, and tolerated child raping Priests will place ceremonial ashes in the shape of a torture symbol, known as a crucifix, on their non-thinking, credulous followers heads.
As the carnival season ceases, and this first day of Lent launches, another countdown commences to Zombie Jebus day some fortyish days henceforth. In the meantime, while those of the limited and literal mind show-off their piousness to the many, and willful ignorance to few, let those few with the advanced ironic and inquiring minds, engage in some very basic mathematics:
Given:
– Number of Days in Lent = 40 (rounded for easy numbers)
– Number of Priests on Earth = 500,000 (rounded for easy numbers)Assumption:
– The leading child-rape ring, the Roman Catholic Church, and its Priests have never been brought to justice for the atrocities of their past child-raping behavior; therefore, the child-raping behavior of Catholic Priest will remain constant for the next forty days.
Find:
1. How many innocent children will be raped by Catholic Priests between Ass Wednesday and Zombie Jebus Day?
2. Of those innocent children that will be raped by Catholic Priests, what percentage of their willfully ignorant literalist parents will continue to defend the world’s oldest international organized crime syndicate, and their child-raping Priest?
3. Why are those of us with the audacity to trumpet this considered the assholes, while those that are actually violating children’s assholes considered righteous?
4. Why do you keep calling me Pollyanna?
The New Orleans Saints are seeking to keep private hundreds of emails allegedly showing that executives did damage control for the local archdiocese.
NEW ORLEANS (AP) — The New Orleans Saints are going to court to keep the public from seeing hundreds of emails that allegedly show team executives doing public relations damage control for the area’s Roman Catholic archdiocese to help it contain the fallout from a burgeoning sexual abuse crisis.
Attorneys for about two dozen men suing the church say in court filings that the 276 documents they obtained through discovery show that the NFL team, whose owner is devoutly Catholic, aided the Archdiocese of New Orleans in its “pattern and practice of concealing its crimes.”
