By Madison S. Hughes (02.22.2012)

Today the world’s oldest international organized crime syndicate, currently leading the world in its child-raping ring, the Roman Catholic Church, celebrates Ash Wednesday.

Today the willfully ignorant literalists, and child rapists, symbolically show their repentance before their imaginary celestial dictator. The willfully ignorant literalists will obediently follow each other to their tax-exempt child rape houses of worship. There the socially accepted, admired, and tolerated child raping Priests will place ceremonial ashes in the shape of a torture symbol, known as a crucifix, on their non-thinking, credulous followers heads.

As the carnival season ceases, and this first day of Lent launches, another countdown commences to Zombie Jebus day some fortyish days henceforth. In the meantime, while those of the limited and literal mind show-off their piousness to the many, and willful ignorance to few, let those few with the advanced ironic and inquiring minds, engage in some very basic mathematics:

Given:

– Number of Days in Lent = 40 (rounded for easy numbers)
– Number of Priests on Earth = 500,000 (rounded for easy numbers)

Assumption:

– The leading child-rape ring, the Roman Catholic Church, and its Priests have never been brought to justice for the atrocities of their past child-raping behavior; therefore, the child-raping behavior of Catholic Priest will remain constant for the next forty days.

Find:

1. How many innocent children will be raped by Catholic Priests between Lent and Zombie Jebus Day?

2. Of those innocent children that will be raped by Catholic Priests, what percentage of their willfully ignorant literalist parents will continue to defend the world’s oldest international organized crime syndicate, and their child-raping Priest?

3. Why are those of us with the audacity to trumpet this considered the assholes, while those that are actually violating children’s assholes considered righteous?

4. Why do you keep calling me Pollyanna?